She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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