Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
