Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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