he thought i was a dude.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
My vagina just recognized that song.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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