Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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