Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize