i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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