She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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