I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize