found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I will pee on everything he values.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
