I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
