What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
