saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
