I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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