Buhtt sex?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
