Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'm lost and stupid without you.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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