I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
The feeling are messing with the penis
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
