When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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