she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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