wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
