I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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