HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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