Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
