She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
