I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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