we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
