So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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