I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Randomize
