Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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