It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
