the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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