I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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