just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Randomize
