You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
