You're completely useless in the revolution.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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