He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
