I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
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