i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
the liver wants what the liver wants
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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