there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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