So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
