My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
