new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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