every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
