Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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