i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
