im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
