I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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