I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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