She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
