i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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