I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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