I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
