There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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