I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
