please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
