I love black thongs
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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