I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
