The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
