We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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