Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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