he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize