this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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