he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
