I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
