when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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